


PART OF THE SHIP - PART OF THE CREW  (or "Can I Get A Towel?")

by wherenonehavegoneb4 (where00wentb4)



Category: AU Star Trek, Slash AU, Star Trek AU - Fandom, Star Trek IX, Star Trek Reboot, Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies), nu Star Trek
Genre: A.U.a.f., Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Crack Lite, Developing Relationship, M/M, Multi, Other, Unrequited Love, romcom
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-22
Updated: 2019-12-22
Packaged: 2021-02-26 00:49:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 19
Words: 11,668
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21904735
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/where00wentb4/pseuds/wherenonehavegoneb4
Summary: Although Jim, Leonard, and Spock all have feelings for each other, ironically, it is Leonard and Spock who start opening up about their feelings towards each other--and for Jim.  Unfortunately, before they can speak to him, Jim thinks that his two friends are an exclusive couple and makes every effort to 'not interfere', which ends up appearing as though he has started a relationship with Scotty.
Relationships: "Mistaken" James Kirk/Montgomery Scott, Leonard "Bones" McCoy/Spock, McCoy/Kirk/Spock
Comments: 11
Kudos: 54





	1. A Series Of Inopportune Developments

In all the time that Jim had spent with McCoy and Spock since their mission had started, only one of them had shown any hint of sexual or romantic interest in him.

That would be McCoy, but it was a hint that could be explained away by the doctor's "southern" culture combined with a wicked sort of wit.

He walked through empty corridors, sometimes, imagining what it might be like if McCoy's 'southern' culture heated up a few degrees.

He wondered what it would be like to have his First Officer's hand on his face in the intimacy of a Mind Meld. In other words, he was fantasizing about both of them when he could find the opportunity.

Then came the day---

They were on Rigel for some shore-leave as guests of the planet's very appreciative leaders for preserving the stability of their planet's economy.

Spock and McCoy had managed to keep their relationship a secret by agreement after a long, excruciatingly honest talk about their feelings for each other--and for the same Starfleet Captain.

Jim just happened to come to the end of a second-level outdoor walkway of the building right next to the one Spock and McCoy had met at to begin an afternoon together--just in time to witness his two friends as they dared a brief, affectionate kiss before leaving.

Spock had registered a humanoid standing in front of the building just above ground level, and tore his gaze away from blue-gray eyes to find-- A door into the building just finishing closing behind whoever had disappeared through it...

Being the one who best knew James Kirk, and the construction of ambiance that a human-like Jim would find relaxing, McCoy was elected by a unanimous vote between the two of them to prepare a special setting that Jim would find almost irresistible.

Their hope was to encourage Jim to feel comfortable in both their presence at the same time.

Jim declined their invitation, explaining he'd already promised to join in other activities with someone else.

McCoy explained to Spock that once Jim made a promise, he did his damnedest to keep it, bless his heart.

So, they didn't try to argue with Jim to get him to change his plans, because that was something about Jim that made them both want him with them even more.

They agreed to wait, and keep their eyes open for the next opportunity to implement their plan.

What McCoy hadn't known (then) was that Jim had promised them, in silence, that he would stay clear of them unless the need demanded otherwise, so that they could have as much time together as they could manage.

When they were back aboard the Enterprise, and on duty, it seemed that no one so much as suspected there was anything more between Spock and McCoy than a budding friendship.

There wasn't so much as the slightest whisper about the two of them in the ship's 'grapevine'.

Although it did seem as though it was getting harder and harder for McCoy and Spock to get any free time privately with Jim as the days progressed, that was the only thing that could have been considered a noticeable change.

Well---not **_only_**.

About a week later, people started coming up to McCoy in the corridors and asking if they knew if something was bothering the Captain. 

The doctor's response was a suspicious, "Why?"

The ship's CMO was not about to let it be assumed that he would answer such a question that would have obviously been confidential information, damnit! 

He would later realize that this was the crew's way of telling their Captain's only known best friend that they were worried about him...the damn little snot-nose geniuses.

And damn himself to hell for needing them to make him realize something was wrong!

Damnit! He was a doctor, not a blasted tabloid journalist!


	2. Decreasing Cohesion

Montgomery Scott had gotten use to occasionally finding Jim exploring different areas of engineering when he should have been safe in his bed hours into sleep. 

A lad so young, even though already a starship captain, shouldn't be havin such a plague, in his own personal opinion.

Well, it hadn't been the first case he'd come across. 

He learned that get'in 'em comfortable chattin 'til they worked out what was worryin at 'em, either out loud or quietly in their head, usually set things t'normal again.

Jim kept their conversations on equipment, percentages of maximum functioning level averages, alterations to system configurations, scheduled starbase checkpoints and supply pickups for repair work and maintenance. 

That's what gave the nature of his troubles away, talking about any and every aspect of the ship and as little to nearly nothing about the crew. 

And not only did he even dodge any question or mention of his friend, Leonard, but he steered clear of any topic that could be remotely related to the good doctor.

So, maybe the Chief Medical Officer and the dear Captain might have had somethin of a nasty disagreement between them, which they certainly hid well from the rest of the ship if that were the case. 

Perhaps it had just recently occurred and not yet been given chance enough for anyone to have caught wind of the fact. 

Either way, the Chief Engineer simply figured they hadn't stayed friends in Starfleet Academy without having a falling out or two before. 

They were both grown men who were entrusted with the health and wellbeing of some of the finest lads and lasses in the Federation's history, so they ought to be able to figure things out between them after they cooled off a bit.

Jim left Engineering in time to get about a good four hours shut-eye, if he went straight to bed, that is. 

He showed up the next night, however, just as willing to talk about anything so long as it had no organic qualities, as he would the next few nights before prolonged lack of sleep began to noticeably affect him.

After Scotty mentioned Jim looking a little worn around the edges, he didn't see him on his off-shift hours for the next couple of 'nights'. 

By then, the unobtrusive engineer had started covertly watching in the mess hall whenever he saw Leonard McCoy and joined the other members of the Bridge crew when he had lunch and supper at the same time as themselves. 

Not only did he notice that Doctor McCoy would join them when he could, but that he also sat next to First Officer Spock, which he considered a bit of an unusual thing to behold. 

He chatted casually whenever anyone spoke to him, but tried his best to let conversation flow around him, hoping to snag a morsel of information that might make sense of Jim's distress.

The course of events took a turn for the worse when Commander Spock happened to ask Scotty what the Captain had been doing in engineering the past four days after his work shift. 

Before he could answer the ship's Chief Science Officer, Doctor McCoy half-dropped, half-tossed his knife and fork onto his tray with a clatter and fixed eyes (that were just barely reigning in a threatening tempest) on him. 

In a rather impressive marriage of contained hiss and possessive growl, McCoy was demanding why neither he nor Mr. Spock had said anything about Jim prowling 'the blasted bowels of the Enterprise' when he damn-well should have had that thick-skulled head of his planted on his blasted Starfleet-captain issued pillow.


	3. If Cats Attempted Herding Each Other

Spock saw Leonard McCoy's protectiveness of the Captain override his reasoning once again, and calculated a ninety-eight point seven percent chance of the doctor expressing accusative insinuations that he would quite deeply regret afterward.  "Perhaps, since it is known through most of the ship's crew, that you, doctor, are and have been the Captain's most trusted friend for the longest period of time, Commander Scott may have been under the assumption that you would already be aware of the Captain's late-hour activities."

"Aye. I couldn't have said it much more clearly meself," the Chief Engineer raised his mug of coffee in an informal toast to Spock's intervening response to the doctor, before taking a devil-could-care sip from it.

Seeing the doctor's volatile condition shift to surprise and then contrition, led the science officer to believe that Commander Scott was as capable of verbal confrontation with Leonard McCoy as himself or the Captain, or perhaps even more so than he had earlier assessed.

The doctor's intense emotional state seemed to immediately diffuse then. "Sorry, Scotty," he lowered his head in genuine remorse. "Jim's been making himself rather scarce for the past few days, and now it looks like he's been up with insomnia and keeping it a secret."

"Well, it's not a secret if  _ somebody _ knows," Scotty pointed out tactfully, "and he seemed to have made it a point to get a bit more sleep when I told him he looked like he wasn't gettin enough." 

Montgomery Scott didn't seem the slightest bit worried, and it wasn't in his nature to dismiss the appearance of malady in crew members if he suspected it. 

"If he hadn't, ye can be sure I'd bring 'im to the Medbay meself, even if it meant wrappin 'im up in duct tape like an ancient Egyptian mummy and carryin 'im over my shoulder." 

Scotty brought his coffee up to his lips, and, just before taking another sip of his coffee, he muttered into the nearly full mug, "Well..eventually, I suppose." 

His sly smirk was hidden as he sipped the warm fluid, sending a wink over to Hikaru and Pavel who were fighting back pleased grins while Spock, McCoy, and Uhura stared at him in mute shock.


	4. Uncomfortable Revelations

McCoy was the first to recover his voice. "Well, I wanna know why he didn't tell me he was having trouble sleeping! Damnit! What am I here for, if Jim won't even come to me when he may very well have low-grade insomnia?"

Sulu's face flinched into a frown of confusion. "After everything he did with me and Pasha down on Rigel, I would have thought he'd be needing  _ extra _ sleep."

Leonard's eyes widened in seeming outrage. "He was with  _ you _ on his shore-leave?"

Somehow seeming far less daunted by the threat of one of the doctor's tirades, Sulu challenged with an icy stare, "I'll assume there's a  _ good _ reason for you sounding offended by that idea."

Chekov piped in defensively, "Da. Vat is vrong vid us? Veer not goot enough for zee keptin to be vis as hue are?"

"WHA--? Blast it!" McCoy let out in an explosive hiss to cover his embarrassment, " I didn't say that!"

Sulu leaned back in his chair, studying McCoy skeptically. "I don't see why you're bothered by it at all. You and Mr. Spock made reservations for adjoining hotel rooms as well as the same restaurant and entertainment seatings, obviously to be together,  _ way _ before Jim went off-ship." There was an unquestionable hint of accusation in his tone.

Instead of his customary eyebrow-raising, Spock locked his gaze on Hikaru as phasers on some sort of threatening entity. "I should like to know just how you came about such specific information with respect to my shore-leave itinerary."

Sulu's confidence held steady. "I asked Jim why he wasn't spending his shore-leave with Dr. McCoy--like he _usually_ did." He briefly looked over at McCoy, who was looking at Spock as if they had just been caught in some sort of conspiracy.

The Chief Enterprise pilot continued at the First Officer's nod of understanding. "He said the Rigelian Council had somebody contact him before he beamed down, to ask if he was going to be joining his First Officer. Go figure." 

He paused to glance at Chekov, who returned the look with the faintest sly smirk. 

Turning his attention back to Spock and McCoy, he went on. "So, he told the woman that he hadn't been able to talk with you yet about the arrangements you'd made."

Taking a sip of tea from his mug to moisten his drying throat, Sulu leaned forward with a contemplative look. "The rep filled him in on **_all_ **the reservations you had scheduled--in case there were any changes the Captain wanted to make to it. When she mentioned the doctor's name on the same hotel and seating reservations, he explained, 'they were good friends from the Academy', so she assumed you're plans were intended for all three of you." He shrugged and took a bite out of his dinner roll. "He said he didn't bother telling her otherwise."

"I see," the First Officer said dryly, and glanced over at McCoy with an undecipherable expression.

"Why didn't he say something to one of us, damnit?" McCoy had an edge of desperation building in his voice.

For a moment, Sulu simply stared the doctor in the eyes as if the answer should have been completely obvious. "He didn't wanna risk screwing up a chance that you two could finally start playing nice together. You and Mr. Spock were going at each other's throats every time you got within yelling distance of each other. It was getting so bad whenever he had the *pleasure* of being around for it, he'd seriously been expecting one of you to show up with a transfer request."

"Aye." Scotty confirmed grimly. "Can't argue with that meself. Seems you've got no one to blame for your grievances, but yourself, doctor."

Chekov couldn't seem to allow himself to be left out of the picture. "Besides, vee showed zee keptin _wery_ goot time on hees shoreleaf. He ees wery good dancer!"


	5. Paving A Road With Good Intentions

Scotty expression brightened with mischief. "Is'e now? So he found someone to help take his mind off his troubles for a wee bit, then?"

Sulu couldn't resist stirring the pot. "Well, yeah. Dancing with Pasha takes almost as much focus as it does energy. Good thing for me. I was too beat from the things we'd been doing that afternoon to keep up with either of them."

"PASHA???" Uhura could no longer remain silent.

"Ee-karu vas der ze whole time," stated indignantly. "Vas totally eenozent."

"Not sure you could call it 'innocent', Pash. I swear you or both of you were trying to torture me visually."

Chekov smeared Sulu with a wide-eyed, sticky-sweet gaze. "Vee vere only tryink to modiwate you into a dance or two, Eekaru."

"I was  _ that _ tired," Sulu muttered in complaint.

Pavel sighed heavily. "Da. I know ziss," he grumbled with a look feigned hurt.

"Well you're right about one thing, Sulu. If Jim kept up with the two of you during shore-leave, he  _ should _ have been sleeping more when he got back, not less. I have a mind to order him on bed rest just for not letting me know -- if not sedate his ass!"

Scotty's face winced as though someone had slipped lemon juice into his coffee. "Maybe he's aillin from somethin that's not covered in your degree of expertise."

"Well I'm still his friend, for crying out loud, or at least I thought I was." McCoy seemed to be beside himself with dismay.

"The kind of friend a Starfleet cadet needs and the kind a starship captain needs might be a wee bit different, Leonard." Scotty admonished gently.

McCoy frowned in genuine confusion. "What the devil is that suppose to mean?"

"Sendin Jim to his room or drugging him into complyin with your wishes'll make ye look more like a tyrant than any kind of friend t’be trustin!" Scotty blurted out as if he were declaring some demand on the ship was too much to ask for. "Ye can't expect’im to feel comfortable confidin the kind of worries he's taken upon himself with  _ anyone _ who'd treat him like some child incapable of survivin without supervision--which ye must well know he'd not be here with us now if he couldn't."

"Sounds to me like he's found someone who  _ does _ know how to treat him." Hikaru purred with a stealthy stab at McCoy's obvious shortcoming.

"Well, I would hope I've succeeded in tryin to." Scotty smiled bashfully and sipped his coffee with a little more satisfaction.

McCoy had the grace to look justifiably contrite. "Can't believe I managed to let him down so badly," he murmured to the table.

"The Captain does seem to have a tendency to repress his emotions when he concludes their nature will cause others distress." Spock almost seemed to be attempting to console the doctor.

McCoy stared at Spock mutely for a moment, then let out a great sigh of resignation and turned to Scotty with a strained, apologetic smile. "You'll let one of us know if whatever's eating at him starts heading for critical mass?" The doctor was trying to offer an olive branch with his forced attempt at humor.

"Aye, that you can surely count on." Scott tried kindly to offer his reassurance.


	6. Owner Of A Lonely Heart

Scotty was digesting _everything_ he'd taken in during dinner.

Most people tended to think that Scotty didn't pay much attention to anything that wasn't related to Engineering or sandwiches.

Quite the contrary.

An engine needed a ship more than a ship needed an engine. 

The Enterprise had countless working parts with their own specialist crew teams to maintain them. 

Every department needed other departments to help them do their job. 

This meant the relations between crew members affected the smoothness of all operations.

It wasn't that Scotty just happened to be one of those people who got along with just about everybody, but that his engineering genius didn't completely separate machinery from mankind. 

A machine could be even more affected by friction within the people operating it, than by friction within its own parts.

There was more to Jim coming here than just giving Dr. McCoy and Mr. Spock more room to mend things between them and build a friendship.

It was starting to nag at Scotty, that Mr. Spock would make reservations for himself and Leonard so that they were dinning together as well as "next-door neighbors" at the hotel. 

That seemed a rather big leap for two who had just buried the hatchet between themselves.

Scotty remembered countless times when Dr. McCoy complained that Spock was always drowning the captain in too many details of the things he did or planned to do. 

It seemed a wee bit strange that Jim found out about Spock's shore-leave arrangements by a total stranger.

Another thing nagging at Scotty was that Jim always use to talk about Leonard, if only for a bit, and now he was avoiding talking about people at all.

Jim was helping Scotty make some more modifications to the power relay junction; w ithout even having to bring up an image of the schematics, he was quickly able to carry out Scotty's verbal rewiring instructions.

He even custom-designed a new stabilization module that they could incorporate into the modifications, much to Scotty's private elation.

Instead of seeming satisfied, in any expected degree, Jim was practically apathetic, almost disappointed.

Scotty watched Jim now, remembering what Chekov and Sulu had revealed about their captain.

That was when the lightbulb finally went on above Scotty's head.

He wasn't completely sure what he was doing, but Jim looked like he really needed a sympathetic ear. "Guess even inventin something that makes Federation history doesn't make up for a broken heart."

Jim made the mistake of not looking confused...a dead give-away. "By that, you mean---?"

"Leonard and Mr. Spock," Scotty said softly.


	7. The Gravity Of Love's Ups And Downs

Jim simply stared at him, again not showing any sign of surprise, then finally switched his attention to putting away the tools he'd been using. "They both deserve to have someone who makes them happy," he stated diplomatically.

"Aye," Scotty agreed solemnly, "Even so, I'd be getting mightly pissed if I were in your shoes."

This time Jim did look up at him with surprise. "I not mad at them, Scotty! As far as I know, neither of them had any idea--about how I felt."

Scotty saw Jim's surprise escalate as he grinned down at him brightly, "I meant I'd be gettin good and drunk."

"Trust me, I've been considering it," Jim growled with a mirthless smirk, as he closed up the tool case and put it back in its storage compartment.

"Well, then, why don't ya drop by my quarters after ya change out of your work-suit and help me enjoy a prime Scotch I bought on Rigel. You've got the next twenty-four off, anyway!" Scotty slapped him on the shoulder encouragingly. "A good drunk is better in good company."

Jim actually managed a small, genuine smile, "That's an invitation I'll be more than happy to take you up on," he said with deep sincerity.

"Brilliant! I'll finish gettin the rest of things here squared away while you're changin, and we'll head off, then." Scotty was beaming enthusiastically.

Jim nodded and headed for the suit storage room.

"This better mean you're calling it a night," McCoy's voice growled irritably behind him from the entryway.


	8. Finding Equalibrium

This time, Jim did think to look surprised. "That was the idea," he said casually, unzipping his work-suit to peel it from his arms and legs.

"You don't have to keep coming here to avoid me. I'll start coming here if I have to," McCoy cut to the chase.

Jim had sat down on the changing-room bench to unlatch the protective boots. He froze in place and didn't resume moving after the few seconds a normal pause would last.

"Jim?" McCoy sounded as though he wasn't sure if Jim had been listening to what he was saying, or wasn't sure Jim was alright.

With deliberate slowness, Jim sat up slightly and stared at McCoy with blue eyes that burned in a way his friend had never seen before. "You never had to, to begin with," he finally spoke in a soft tone that should have dropped the temperature of the room. The burning snuffed itself out, and Jim went back to unfastening the boots.

McCoy's eyes widened, brow leaping to meet with the hair on his head, but he was most definitely at a loss for words.

"I'm not coming here to avoid you, Doctor." Jim slipped one foot out of its boot and started working on the latches of the other. 

He didn't bother to say anything more.

"Any chance of you telling me  why you  _ have _ been coming here?" McCoy asked carefully.

Again, Jim froze but started to undo the rest of the latches after his expression seemed to smooth out with whatever decision he'd made. "Ever go without eating or drinking long enough to almost not even know you're hungry or thirsty, and then someone shows up and gives you something to eat, or a bottle of water?"

McCoy blinked and scowled in confusion. "Do you need me to bring you something to eat?"

Jim dropped his head and let out a weak laugh. "No. That's not what I was getting at." He brought his elbows onto his thighs and rested the weight of his torso on them, looking up again at McCoy.

Leonard’s eyes search Jim's face, visibly feeling out of familiar territory with the man in front of him. He indicated he was waiting for Jim to go on by remaining silent.

Jim's eyes examined the floor for a moment. "After going without food or water long enough to be used to being hungry or thirsty, when you finally get that first taste--"

"Alright, then! Everything's tucked away proper--" Scotty's voice came around the outside of the room before he nearly marched right into McCoy. 

"Oh! Hello there, Le--- Oh---. My!" Scotty was grinning his usual welcome, and then his attention was ensnared by a practically naked Jim, and his smile became blatantly appraising. "Maybe I should just have a cup of tea, so I don't forget I'm a gentleman." His eyes traveled hungrily over Jim's exposed skin.

Jim glanced over at Scotty and let out a breathy laugh. "Then I'd be forced to spike it when you aren't looking, so you do." His signature "cocky" smirk was performed by a very good impostor that pulled the right pose at the corners of his mouth--but didn't reach his eyes.

"Well, I wouldn't want to put you to the trouble, so I'll just forget about the tea then," his last words were warm and husky, and he'd slipped passed McCoy to stand behind Jim and, seemingly without a second thought, run his fingers gently over a bare shoulder and adjoining neck.

"Mmm," Jim closed his eyes and tilted his head, offering Scotty's fingers more area to travel. "That sounds like a good start," he murmured approvingly.

"Am I interrupting something?" McCoy asked to remind them he was still there.

"Nothing we can't continue somewhere more comfortable," Jim answered lazily and then opened his eyes to look up at Scotty.

"Aye. So get dressed, then, so that we can," the slyly smirking Scotsman whispered with just a hint of demand. He gripped Jim's shoulder lightly and gave it a slight shake.

With a nod, Jim flinched and pulled the other boot off, then quickly pulled his trousers, regular boots, and black undershirt on. He pushed himself up off of the bench, hung the work suit he'd used into its storage unit, and then headed out. "Nice talkin with ya, Bones," he said as he slipped by the doctor through the entryway.

"Aye," Scotty agreed, clapping the doctor on the shoulder as he followed closely behind Jim. "Nice of ya to pay a visit all the way down here, Leonard!"

They left McCoy there in his quiet bewilderment.


	9. When Tables Seem Turned

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Mechanics Of Poetic Justice In Motion

Jim expected to hear McCoy calling after him as they made their way through the corridors to the lift. 

Once they were moving, vertically, to the deck where Scotty's quarters were, Jim suddenly felt a wave of guilt.

"Scotty, I'm not sure---" he wasn't sure what he was unsure about.

"I figured that was the best way to coax the doctor into savin the pleasant little conversation you were havin for a wee bit later," Scotty answered before Jim even managed to say something that needed an answer.

Jim blinked at Scotty until the whirring gears behind his eyes locked into place the moment he comprehended. "I'm starting to think that I should really keep an eye on you."

The lift doors opened, and Scotty gestured with a gallant wave of his hand for Jim to proceed ahead of him. "Well, I can certainly think of worse things to have than your attention." Scotty's eyes were warm and confident and soothed any lingering unease that Jim had about being with him.

"Ye might want t' have your coms relayed here, while I'm fillin the glasses," Scotty made the same gallant wave towards the desk interface in his quarters.

"Uh, yeah, thanks for reminding me," he said with a nod. "Computer," he said, leaning over the desk towards the console, "Activate delivery of personal communications directed to Captain James Kirk to this location."

"VOICE AUTHORIZATION ACCEPTED." The computer's female synthesized voice announced. "PERSONAL COMMUNICATION TRANSMISSIONS TO CAPTAIN JAMES KIRK, DIRECTED TO PERSONAL QUARTERS, MONTGOMERY SCOTT."

Standing back up, Jim sauntered, with a lazy grin, over to the table where the drink Scotty had poured him and Scotty were waiting. 

He didn't get more than a little tipsy. 

Listening to Scotty tell stories and his various points of view on things had Jim laughing himself exhausted. 

When his host started running out of things to say, he was already trying to fall asleep with his head propped up by one arm resting on the back of his chair.

"There now," Scotty murmured quietly, "Let's get you safely to bed then," he moved to Jim's side and gently slid an arm around his back, pulling him against his side.

Perhaps Jim had driven himself into the ground so far, it didn't occur to him that he was still in Scotty's quarters. 

Maybe he simply knew, on a gut level, that he was safe, and just let Scotty guide him to and down on the bed.

Strong, warm hands made contact with the bared skin of his chest and back when his shirt was pulled smoothly over his head. 

Soon after, he felt them on his legs as his trousers, boots, and socks were also removed, while a soft, mellow voice babbled meaningless reassurances.

He rolled onto his side and pulled himself halfway into a fetal position when he was no longer being touched. 

A few seconds later, the weight of soft blankets and a firm, warm body cocooned him securely. 

Jim squirmed back, with the last of his energy, to make an airtight seal, and was asleep a few heartbeats later. 

He felt like he'd just shut his eyes two hours later when the automated voice of the computer announced a com attempt from Commander Spock.

The sudden motion of turning and scooting into a sitting position caused his briefs to slide down and catch on the base of his cock. "Open channel," he commanded and rose from the bed to stagger to the desk. "Kirk here."


	10. What The Hell WERE They Thinking Even?

The image screen flared brightly as Spock's face materialized on it, glanced downward for just a moment--and raised an eyebrow. "Captain, am I correct in assuming that you were sleeping before you answered my com notification?"

Jim sighed as if he'd been caught indulging his guiltiest pleasure. "Yep." He said with a long, careless blink.

Spock briefly allowed his confusion to show. "May I inquire as to why you are sleeping in Mr. Scott's quarters?"

Jim's face wrinkled in a sleepy scowl. "Because Scotty's bed is easier to stay in than Keenser's." He stared accusingly at Spock's image with half-closed eyes, as if his answer should have been the perfectly obvious one to anybody. 

Fortunately, being too tired to react to the just-barely-caught laugh from Scotty behind him, the deadpan expression he assumed held perfectly solid.

Spock gave him the "measured" stereo eyebrow raise, which sometimes seemed to easily translate to: is there any relevant reason for your inappropriate attempt at humor at this time?

For that, Jim wanted to retort by asking why Spock had made hotel and dining reservations for McCoy on Rigel, and why he'd been kissing his supposed best friend outside in public. 

Instead, he simply glanced downward for a moment and then looked back up at the monitor with a forced smile. "My deepest apologies for doing something so non-constructive with my time as sleeping. Just to make it up to everyone, I'll go put my clothes back on, walk back to my quarters, and see if there's something acceptable for me to accomplish before my work shift starts."

If Jim hadn't known Spock for being Spock, he would have sworn the Vulcan First Officer looked slightly panicked. "It was not my intention to imply that your being asleep was something which I found disturbing. I was, in fact, concerned that you were sleeping as adequately--in quarters other than your own."

"Ironically, I'm sleeping multiple times better than I was in my own quarters, or I was until my First Officer woke me from one of the deepest sleep I've had in weeks." He'd reached the point of being too tired to stop himself from dropping his face in his propped up hands.

"My apologies, Captain. Please resume your slumber, and forgive my interruption of it, if possible. Good night, captain." The com went silent and dark before Jim could reply.

"Shouldn't that be, 'Good Morning', Mr. Terminology Perfectistisazizim?" Jim asked the blank display screen with a tired slur.

"There now, back t' bed with ya, then," Scotty was at his side, tugging his arm gently, and silently offering his support and guidance. "The sooner ya get back t' sleep, the sooner ya can dream about Mr. Spock trying to picture you cuddled up in a half-size bed next t' Keenser," he babbled reasonably.

Jim let out a string of noises that were somewhere between boyish giggles and a steam decompression. 

Poured back onto the bed, he was tucked back in between blankets and body, hiccoughing in residual laughter, until finally falling back to sleep with a pleased and contented hum.


	11. The Many Layers Of Language

When Jim woke up a second time, it was to the sound of cheerful, echoing humming...and splashing. 

He grinned into the pillow, eyes still closed, and started to extend his arms and legs in a cat-like stretch.

"AHFUCKMYRIBS!" His arms whipped around to hug his lower torso, and knees snapped in towards his stomach. He broke out in boyish hysterical giggling about his painfully aching sides.

This was one morning when waking up alone in bed didn't suck. 

He suddenly remembered something about insinuations of him being in a half-size bed with Keenser and falling out of it. More helpless boyish laughter.

Scotty came out of the fresher a moment later, at the end of a final giggle. "Ah! Good morning to ye. Ye seemed to sleep just fine without any interruptions. I saved ye some hot water," he announced casually and tossed Jim a fresh, dry towel.

Jim looked up at him and then burst into hysterics again. "OW!OW!OW!"

"I think I missed the joke. Mind fillin me in?" Scotty asked with an amused glint in his eyes.

Jim caught his breath and sat up, grabbing the towel gracelessly. "I was just thinking that we might be developing a habit of you getting wet and having to change clothes whenever we're together too long."

Scotty chuckled with a one-shoulder shrug before ducking into the closet. "Aye, a risk I'm more than happy t' take."

Another easy laugh, and Jim slung himself off the bed to head for fresher, "Just remember you said that," he warned playfully.

When Jim and Scotty arrived in the Officer's Mess, Sulu came up to them with a mug of coffee for each. "Pasha and I got an empty table over there. Uhura's almost through the line." He inclined his head to where Chekov was sitting with his breakfast tray in front of him and raising his glass of tea at them in greeting. Another tray was next to his, obviously Sulu's.

"Thank ye, mate," Scotty nodded with a wide grin, and then turned to Jim after Sulu left to return to the table. "Why don't you go sit with the lads and enjoy your coffee, while I get us both a nice little breakfast?"

"Uh, okay. You sure though?" Jim stammered slightly at the unexpected generosity. "I'm more than big enough now to wait in line and get my own breakfast like everybody else, ya know?" he tried to tease to hide his feeling of guilt.

"Ahk! Quit yer frettin and let me have a little fun, now," he gave Jim's back a gentle push with his free hand towards the 'reserved' table.

"Okay-okay!" Jim chuckled in genuine happiness and then sat down next to Sulu, just as Uhura sat down with her tray next to Chekov.

"How did you know when we were going to show up in the mess hall," Jim asked Sulu when he got to the table. "The coffee's still just-poured hot!"

"Scotty commed me," Sulu said just before covering his mouth with his own mug. He looked up at Jim with eyes that silently added, * _ while you were in the shower _ *.

"Oh--” Jim said and blushed when he caught Chekov beaming up at him smugly behind his tea. 

While he waited for Scotty to join them, Jim chatted with his three table companions, giving them a good laugh by sharing some of the things Scotty had said the night before. 

And if they didn't say so out loud, they were definitely taking notice of the unusually serene smile that their captain was wearing that morning.

That smile was extinguished abruptly when Jim turned to see that McCoy had approached the table. 

Looking up at the ship's chief surgeon with a momentary expression of uncertainty, he glanced over at Spock, who was standing at McCoy's side. 

Jim straightened in his seat with a strangely formal nod at the doctor as he watched him take the empty place directly across from him.

Uhura caught it, and remembered the one time Kirk had nodded at her, or her and Spock, in that _same_ way.


	12. Not On Bread Alone

Uhura studied McCoy and Spock, noting how close Spock was allowing McCoy to be to him. 

She also became aware of how McCoy seemed to not look very often at Spock, and yet be oddly 'in sync' with him.

Just as the pieces locked into place for Uhura, Spock's eyes met hers, a single, questioning brow lifted. 

She answered silently by aiming her gaze at an oblivious McCoy, and then openly glaring at Spock with reproach for a few seconds before turning her attention to the food in front of her--with a noticeable concentration.

McCoy eyed Jim with a slight surprise. "Nice to see you're not having to nurse a hangover this morning," he said sarcastically. He turned to look up at Scott, who had just arrived at the table with two trays as he spoke. "Good work, Scotty."

"Here ye go, now. See how ye like that," Scotty ignored McCoy as he set a tray down in front of Jim.

Scotty turned to McCoy with a steely gaze, then. "T’wasn't any  _ work  _ a'tall, being in Jim's company, Dr. McCoy," he announced with an edge of subtle challenge in his voice. "It was truly a pleasure which I'm hoping to indulge in a might more often from here on."

McCoy raised an eyebrow at the Chief Engineer as if he'd just been blatantly told off.

"Scotty, what is---" Jim was poking at the open end of what looked like an oversized eggroll which exposed the familiar shapes of sliced mushrooms, sauteed onions, wilted baby spinach leaves, and something that looked like slightly under-cooked scrambled eggs.

"I had some cumin and turmeric mixed into the tofu, t' give it some flavor," Scotty purred.

Jim looked pleasantly surprised and took an experimental taste. "Mm! This is really good!" He attacked the rest with enthusiasm.

"You're a vegetarian?" Uhura blurted out in surprise.

"Is there something wrong with being a vegetarian," Sulu almost had a slight note of demand in his question.

Uhura pulled her face into a scowl, "Hell no!" she retorted. "Vegetarians kick ass," she proclaimed a bit loudly. "Isn't that right, Kirk?"

A startled Jim looked over at Uhura, just in time to see her glance directly at Spock, who raised an eyebrow at the unexpected question and chose to silently return to his repast. 

When the meaning of Uhura's words finally sank in, Jim doubled up with laughter before he could stop himself. "OW-HOW-HOW!"

"Are you okay, Jim?" McCoy was suddenly rising from his seat, genuine concern on his face as he reached towards Jim with a hand.

Aye, that's completely my fault, I'm afraid." Scotty admitted with only a hint of remorse. "It's just that I found it such a beautiful thing, seeing him laugh, I couldn't bring myself t' stop making him do it." He was rubbing the back of Jim's back with a careful hand.

"Well I think it's a good thing, Scotty," Uhura said with deep sincerity. "Even Kirk deserves to have at least  _ one _ friend who's making sure he remembers how to laugh," she was staring pointedly at McCoy by the end of her sentence.

"Aye. That he does, lass," Scotty said in an eerie tone of seriousness.

"Here-here!" Sulu's voice sounded almost grim in his agreement.

"Da!" Chekov bit out in a frosty voice.

McCoy was about to demand to know what Uhura was trying to insinuate, although the stinging words rang with too much truth to allow him the fuel of self-righteous anger. 

He looked around the table to find the same, accusing stare at him coming from Scotty, Sulu, and Chekov as well. 

They suddenly came to an end, the moment that Jim recovered and started to work on his breakfast again.

"You need me to give you an analgesic, Jim?" McCoy forced himself to look and sound a lot more compassionate.

Jim shook his head, not even looking up, as he finished catching his breath and cut another bite of his breakfast burrito off with his fork. "It's fine now. Thanks." He shut his eyes and chewed with an expression of bliss on his face.

"Let me know if you change your mind," McCoy told Jim, almost demurely. Uhura's words were chipping a hole through the dense skull of his, to his brain, letting in Scotty's comments in with them as well. 

It  _ was _ a beautiful thing to see Jim laugh,  _ really _ laugh. 

And it should  _ never,  _ **_ever_ ** _ , _ have seemed to Jim that being in his company and making him feel like his happiness mattered was nothing more than work to anyone claiming to be his friend.


	13. Something Funny Happened On His Way To Medbay

Jim had never imagined taking on genocidal Romulans from an alternate future, with advanced knowledge and weaponry, and coming out the victor. 

He never imagined that he'd unintentionally get revenge on his father's killer. 

He never imagined he would see the entire planet of Vulcan destroyed in a few minutes. 

He never imagined he'd become captain of the Starfleet Flagship ENTERPRISE at the age of twenty-five (after being caught cheating on the Kobayashi Maru).

Above all, Jim Kirk most definitely never imagined that Spock would walk into the bathroom they shared while he was in the shower with Scotty during their lunch hour (or that there would be a perfectly reasonable explanation).

Scotty had stopped by Jim's quarters so that they could go to the mess hall together. 

He had a small repair kit with him that one of the other engineers had asked him to take back for him on his way.

While Scotty used the sink in the bathroom to wash his hands, Jim decided to open the kit out of curiosity, not knowing that a bottle of primer solution had not been closed properly after being used. 

The top popped off when Jim tossed the bottle back into the kit, and it let go a spray of the chemical compound in his face just as Scotty came up to him from the fresher.

Fortunately, Jim knew to clamp his eyes shut, hold his breath, and let Scotty guide him to the fresher and into the shower, clothes and all.

Scotty was able to rinse Jim's face enough for it to be safe when Jim finally gasped for air.

He was helping get Jim's shirts off over his head when Spock's voice called from just outside the other entryway.

"Captain?" The First Officer asked with a hint of uncertainty in his voice.

"He's in here, Mr. Spock," Scotty called without a second thought.

Jim dared to open his eyes, *Oh-my-god!* he mouthed silently at a grinning Scotty. "What'd ya need, Spock?" He'd managed to keep his voice rock-steady casual.

There was an unexpectedly long moment of silence before Jim and Scotty heard Spock answer, "Nothing that cannot wait for a later time that would be more convenient for you, captain."

Scotty had no idea about Jim seeing Spock and McCoy kissing on Rigel, so he didn't understand that this was Jim's moment of payback. "You're sure, Spock? Because I can dry off really quick if you need me to." He clamped his lips and eyes together to keep from laughing.

"Quite sure, Captain," Spock replied tightly.

"Mr. Spock?" Jim called a few seconds later when he sensed that the First Officer had fled.

Silence.

Jim had had laughing fits in the shower enough times to develop a habit of doing it through his nose with his mouth closed. He let his head drop onto Scotty's shoulder, which was bobbing slightly with the Chief Engineer's own repressed laughter.

"Should we explain to him?" Scotty asked mischievously.

"Um, would you be uncomfortable if we didn't?" Jim asked hopefully.

"Certainly not," he told Jim a little too readily. "But I do think we should have Dr. McCoy have a look-see at your eyes just to be on the safe side."

"Yeah," Jim agreed dejectedly.

"I'd be more than happy to come and be by your side when ye do," Scotty offered softly.

Jim's face brightened instantly, "That'd be great," accepted almost desperately.

Scotty grinned warmly, "Alrighty, then, but can I ask ye one thing?"

"What? Anything, Scotty," Jim told him with the desperation tinging his voice.

Scotty's face contorted on one side, as he thrust a finger in his ear. "Can I get a towel?"

Jim fell backward against the shower wall, forgetting to close his mouth, and howled with laughter.


	14. Chapter 14

Scotty's hair hadn't gotten as much water on it as Jim's, being that Scotty was trying to get all of the water that he could onto Jim's face to flush as much of the chemicals off as possible. 

Thus, Scotty's hair was completely dry by the time they arrived at the Medbay, so it didn't look as though they had both just taken a shower at the same time.

McCoy started by checking Jim's eyes, noticing the monitor's audial reading of his heartbeat picking up in speed and strength. 

Across from him, on the other side of the biobed, he saw Scotty's hand slip around Jim's wrist, thumb rubbing at the inside rhythmically. 

He heard Jim's breath catch and then flow out in a slow exhale, the same moment the heart monitor dropped in tempo. Jim's pupil's dilated slightly, to a more normal size for the light level in the room.

"How does your face feel?" McCoy asked Jim as he looked for any signs of swelling or redness on his skin.

Jim flexed the muscles of his face as if testing to see if they still worked properly. "Okay?" He blinked a couple of times, seeming uncertain. "A little weird, tingling," he admitted reluctantly, "but Scotty was rubbing water around the areas where the stuff hit me."

"I'll be doing a tox-scan to see if it absorbed into your skin," he said casually, "but I want to keep you here for at least a few hours in case you have a delayed reaction."

Jim nodded grimly. "Kinda expected that," he said, fixing his eyes on the ceiling in agitation.

"Would it be alright if I stayed here with him, doctor?" Scotty asked eagerly.

Jim looked at Scotty, slightly panicked, but Scotty was looking back at him with a sharp, steady gaze that told him he wouldn't let the workings of the ship's heart come to risk.

"That's up to Jim," McCoy replied carefully.

"That'd probably be good for everyone involved," he said with a pained smirk.

Sure enough, Jim started having an immune reaction, which led to him having to lie still while McCoy used a micro-hypospray to administer a sub-dermal neutralizer at one-centimeter distances over his entire face. 

Fortunately, having Scotty there, rubbing his forearm, seemed to keep him relaxed throughout the ordeal. 

He was wiped out from the stress afterward and didn't argue when McCoy announced he was keeping him there overnight.

Scotty jolted awake when he heard Jim moaning in the biobed next to him. 

Vaulting to Jim's side, he saw that Jim was still asleep, but moaning and reaching underneath his blanket to his upper thigh. 

Without thinking twice about it, Scotty slipped his own hand under the blanket and found the spot that Jim was grabbing at. "Oh dear," he whispered when he discovered that Jim wasn't suffering from a muscle cramp in his thigh.

Jim cried out when Scotty accidentally brushed his wrist against Jim's sensitive erection and woke himself up when he came.

"What's--!" McCoy bolted into the private recovery room in time to find Jim in the throughs of orgasm and Scotty next to his bed with his hand at his groin under the blanket.

Jim wasn't quite awake enough to worry more over why Scotty was next to his bed with his hand under the blanket than over the fact that McCoy had been watching what he thought might have just happened. "Uh...I'm fine, doctor. Sorry for setting off the alarms."

It took a moment for McCoy to pull himself together for the right kind of response. "You’re sure?" he challenged reluctantly.

"Yeah," Jim nodded emphatically. "Just a little embarrassed."

"As long as you’re alright, don't worry about it. I'm a doctor, not a medieval monk." McCoy grumbled as he turned to leave.

"Uh, doctor?" Scotty called hesitantly.

"What is it, Scotty," McCoy prepared himself for Scotty to apologize or ask for his confidentiality about the incident.

"Can I get a towel?" Scotty asked with obvious discomfort.

Just as McCoy opened his mouth to say, 'sure', Jim flopped back on his bed and started howling with laughter.


	15. All Good Things

Jim went back to sleep easily, not surprisingly to Scotty, who took advantage of Jim's post-orgasm state to get him into a change of clean briefs and pajamas. 

He hushed Jim's apologies with soft reassurances and a gentle smile as he tucked him in. 

Soon, they were both sleeping soundly through the rest of the night, Scotty waking enough to know when Leonard was there to make his hourly visual check on his patient.

Scotty went back on duty the next morning when told Jim would be released from Medbay after the doctor checked him out one last time.

"Is there anything you need to tell me," Leonard asked with an unusual tactfulness that was almost eerie to Jim, "as your doctor?"

Jim searched McCoy's face for something beneath the 'doctor' McCoy that would tell him if there was any degree of disapproval. 

He didn't exactly see any actual disapproval. 

It was something more to the tune of disappointment. 

Somehow, that was worse. 

He started to hang his head, eyes finding his lap suddenly very interesting, but then he forced himself to face McCoy again with a snap of his neck that made the doctor flinch almost imperceptibly.

"No," he heard his own voice sound as if he had just been asked if he remembered a certain event. "That little scene you walked in on...Scotty thought I was having a muscle cramp in my upper thigh when I wasn't quite awake. He said he thought his arm brushed me when he was trying to check where he thought I was in pain--at just the right moment." 

He finished his explanation with a rueful quirk of his mouth. An instant later, he was frowning at a thought, "I am a little bothered that I remember having an erotic dream."

McCoy frowned back, but in confusion, "You've told me plenty of times about having erotic dreams when you were in the academy. Why would one bother you now?"

Jim took a deep breath, visibly dreading what he was going to confide. "Those were about other  _ people _ !" he blurted out in rising agitation. "The one I had last night, I--" he didn't like the feeling that it would seem more real if he said it out loud. "I was humping a towel."

McCoy was now staring at him, with an unreadable expression. "That's it?"

Jim's eyes widened, "You don't think that's weird?"

Suddenly, the Leonard McCoy that Jim knew as his friend, his 'Bones', was back. "My dear young man, what I think is weird in terms of dreams that I've had patients tell me about makes what you just told me seem painfully  _ bland _ ."

Jim actually let out a genuine laugh, albeit, snorted from his nose. "Well, excuse me for wasting your time with my boring night-life," he said teasingly.

'Bone's' was there again, smiling that easy, warm smile. "Actually, it's quite a common theme--for students and high-pressure career workers."

"Really?" Jim felt more surprised that he'd  _ had _ a common dream (rather than the dream of fucking a towel being common itself).

The 'doctor' was back, then, looking hesitant, and suddenly scrutinizing the patient he had in front of him. "It usually means a person feels like they're giving up on something." He tilted his head and seemed to be debating something. "Are you considering resigning from being captain?"

Jim's eyes went 'saucer' wide, and he reared back a few millimeters. "What? No! Why would dreaming about fucking a towel mean I want to resign?" he demanded.

"It's a visual pun, if you think about it. Dreams can sometimes turn idioms that translate feelings, into literal images or scenes," McCoy explained as if he somehow thought this should have been perfectly obvious to Jim. "In this case, 'Tossing in the towel', might be the substitute for 'Throwing in the towel'." 

His eyes fixed on Jim steadily, as if to capture any clue as to what Jim might not tell him.

"Oh," the humor and curiosity were suddenly washed away by an icy tsunami. 

There, in front of him, was the reason he was feeling like he should give up, the 'what' he should give up on, explaining his dream to him, without even knowing the extent of the irony of it.


	16. Fallspring

McCoy privately noted a feeling of chill down his own spine, seeing the light in Jim's eyes dim, and the confident, playful creature that he secretly loved, back away, and hide from him. 

"Jim, I'm sorry how you found out about the reservation plans that Spock set up on Rigel," McCoy blurted out unexpectedly, "That was a shitty thing to let happen, and I should never have talked Spock into keeping quiet about like I did!"

Jim found himself instantly missing the icy numb feeling that had just been replaced with a sharp, nauseating ache. "Water under the bridge," he murmured, the flicker of a false smile only enhancing the hurt in his eyes.

"With all due respect," McCoy said evenly, "I don't believe that for a second."

Jim looked down again and started picking at the outer synthetic cloth of the bio-bed on one side of his thigh. "What do you want me to tell you, then?" he mumbled dismally.

"That you forgive me?" McCoy's voice nearly cracked, and his eyes were glassy and tormented.

Jim stopped pinching and pulling at the bio-bed covering and started tracing small figure eights on it, still refusing to look up again. "Nothing you did to forgive," he forced himself to say clearly, "I'm the one that failed  _ you _ ," he added softly, "Then I tripled it, by not recognizing that I did, or how."

As he opened his mouth to go on a tirade about ridiculous notions and certain persons needlessly claiming themselves guilty, McCoy was silenced before he even started. 

The soft patter of two drops of liquid falling from under Jim's jaw and darkening the fabric of Jim's Medbay pajama shirt almost caused McCoy to wet himself. 

"Jim?" McCoy reached a hand to the side of Jim's face to comfort him and get him to look him in the eyes again.

Jim flinched back away from the hand, "You didn't feel like you could talk to me, at all. That means I either did something wrong or didn't do something that I should have." He still refused to look at McCoy and wiped the back of one hand against his face to erase the trail of water he felt cooling on his skin.

"We wanted to talk to you  _ together _ , Jim," McCoy entreated, "so that you wouldn't feel like you were caught between the different things we'd probably say without the other present." 

Swiping his palm over his own face, McCoy let out an exasperated sigh, "I'm sorry we had you expecting one of us to ask for a transfer, and I wanted you to know that you didn't have to worry about still being able to confide in me. I didn't want you worrying about what we wanted to talk to you about, together,  _ before _ you came down to Rigel, which I would have bet my life on that you'd do without a moment’s hesitation."

"See? I did do something wrong." Jim confirmed, but his voice was lighter, and he was looking up at McCoy with a wavering cheerfulness, even as one more tear stream spilled from the line of his jaw.

Out of reflex, McCoy raised a brow, but he let out another long sigh and leaned his weight on the edge of Jim's bed. "So can we try and start out again with a clean slate?"

"I guess we'll find out," Jim retorted more like his old self.

"Well," McCoy said after reflecting for a few seconds, "at least it's an honest answer." He offered an encouraging smirk, and then slapped Jim lightly on the arm, "Now get dressed and get out of my Medbay before I sedate the next person who asks how you are," he growled in mock-threat.

Jim let another soft snort and forced a weak smile. "Don't need to twist my arm," he slid off the edge of the bed and made as graceful of an escape as he could.

Under the assumption that they'd reached an understanding, Jim was under the false belief that McCoy knew his awareness that he was in a romantic relationship with Spock. 

Likewise, McCoy was still under the false belief Jim thought that he and Spock were only working on being friends. 

Neither of them had 'clew-one' that they were both trying to give each other 'space' to build a new love-life while aching as they watched the other moving further and further out of reach.


	17. Crumbs From The Table

Jim managed to have a little off duty time to himself to think about what was going on between him and Scotty--and what Leonard had said about his recent 'wet-towel-dream'. The next time he was with Scotty in private, he tried to tell him how he felt, or rather, how he didn't feel.

"I never took you as someone who'd give up so soon on something you dearly wanted," Scotty informed him with a sympathetic smile.

"So--did you want to just hang out as friends, then, or did you want me to leave you alone?" Jim asked as bluntly as his rising guilt would let him.

"Ahk, it's no problem for me to be a friend with benefits if you're in need of one," he said without making the offer sound lewd or trashy. "To me, the crew is part of the ship, and the ship part of the crew. I'll hold ya together with me bare hands, if it'll keep ye from falling apart until ye reach shore."

Jim's eyes widened and his face flushed. "Damn, Scotty! I don't know whether to say that's poetically hot, or hotly poetic!"

"Does it mean me offer's accepted, then?" A warm glimmer danced in his eyes. Jim seemed to study Scotty for a few seconds and tried not to darken the mood with his answer.

"If it means you don't mind having me hangin around like a lead pendant, then yeah."

"Aye," Scotty reassured him a little more seriously, "and I'll use the opportunity te try restoring that dented self-esteem of yours."

As the days went by, the only 'benefits' Jim indulged in from Scotty was sleeping snuggled up to him in his quarters on nights when he simply couldn't sleep, by himself, in his own.

McCoy kept on checking with him in case it was 'otherwise'.

"You mean to tell me that all I had to do when you were having trouble sleeping was be your teddy bear every now and then?" McCoy demanded with exaggerated agitation.

Instead of the expected sarcastic humor, Jim looked up at him for an unsettling length of time, before saying a little too quietly, "You probably could have gotten me to sleep just by yelling a bedtime rant at me about Goldie Trouble Magnet and the Green-blooded Hobgoblin."

A smile twitched the corners of McCoy's mouth upwards--and then died when the choice of Jim's words sank in.

A fragment of biblical scripture about dogs eating crumbs that fell on the floor under the dining table flitted through his mind, and a painful lump lodged in his throat.

"Jim, I'm so sorry," he brought a hand up to softly grasp Jim's arm.

Jim only barely controlled a flinch, rolling his eyes with a soft snort, "What? For stopping?" He let out a forced sounding laugh, and his cocky smirk looked like _it_ needed to visit Medbay.

McCoy felt another icy chill go down his spine at the words his friend chose to use. "For being blind to the way I was abusing you."

"Abu--," Jim forgot himself and showed a genuine reaction this time, "You've **_never_** \--!!! How could you even _think_ that?"

McCoy decided he might need to find out what Jim did and didn't consider abuse. Later. "Neglect, then?"

"That, I might hold you accountable for," Jim started relaxing like things were a little more normal between them. "But I'd rather you neglect me and make up for it later than leave for good," he said sincerely.

So much for normal.

What the hell had become normal between them?

McCoy shifted gears slightly. "Then I owe you an apology for neglecting you as a friend. You didn't deserve being mistreated that way."

Jim blanched slightly. "Forget it. It's nothing." He was obviously forcing himself to sound confident, but there was something in his eyes that looked far from it.

"Not to me, it isn't," and Leonard made sure their eyes met long enough to get his sincerity across.

Jim didn't look away, but his eyes betrayed the desperation he felt about the way they were talking. "Apology accepted," he said without trying to fake a smile. He waited quietly now like he was hoping Leonard would be satisfied with his answer and go about the rest of his daily routine.


	18. Don't Poke The Wounded Bear's Cub If You Don't Want--Well, Just...Don't Do It

McCoy made the mistake of forgetting an old saying that lived on through generations of his family: The two most dangerous animals in nature are ones that are wounded or parents protecting their young. 

He was totally blindsided when he'd found out he'd led Spock straight to the den of one that was both: their captain.

McCoy had taken to heart what Jim had coined "Yelling a bedtime rant." 

Jim had always acted so at ease about it in the past that he'd never stopped to think that he was habitually dumping his emotional baggage onto someone he should be setting a better example for, namely, Spock.

So, when Spock came to his quarters later on that day, Leonard figured it was completely safe to rant to Spock about the careless handling of dangerous chemicals that could have resulted in Jim needing tissue reconstruction to his eyes, for gods sake! 

He forgot how well Spock repressed his feelings---ninety-nine, point nine-nine-eight percent of the time.

Spock found the Engineering crewman who had improperly capped the bottle of pre-bonding solvent that had fallen into Jim's hands, or face, as it were.

Scotty found Spock all but threatening one of his 'lads' with a fate worse than death.

Jim found Scotty telling Spock that he could either 'do the right thing' now, on his own, or he would be doing it later at Scotty's guarantee.

If there had ever been a time Spock could have been close to wetting himself, it was then, just as Spock was admonishing Scotty for the lack of severity of disciplinary action for carelessness committed by the crew member under---.

" _ My _ command," Jim's voice cut the air behind him like a blade of dry ice, "-- first, and foremost, Mr. Spock...just as you, yourself are, as you seem to have forgotten." 

There was no need turning around, for Kirk, every bit a captain now, had considerately stepped right in front of him, looking slightly reminiscent of Nero. 

"Explain yourself, mister," he practically whispered.

"I--," Spock had to work unusually hard not to swallow nervously. He closed his mouth, and straightened formally, "No explanation, Captain."

Jim simply stared into Spock's eyes with burning cold rage that could have snuffed out a singularity. "Do you wish to file a formal complaint, ensign?"

There was silence, as neither Captain nor First Officer looked away from each other. 

"Ensign?" Jim still didn't take his eyes off Spock's, but he was worried that the ensign in question was frightened.

Yet another wrong assumption of the day.

"You-- _promised_ we'd start testing out the new power routing configuration this evening," the ensign stated warily.

Jim lost a bit of his menacing composure. "Ensign. This is--"

"You promised," the ensign repeated insistently.

Jim finally decided that it was more important to get across that none of his enlisted men should feel intimidated by his superiors, and looked over at the young ensign. 

That's when he decided it was more important to prove that he meant what he said to his crew, regardless of rank.

Fine, he'd kill two birds with one stone. "You're confined to your quarters until you're next scheduled work shift, Mr. Spock," he stated formally, and locked eyes with the First Officer again. "You're dismissed."

Spock almost blinked and straightened a fraction more. "Yes, Captain," he said crisply and then went to his quarters as ordered.

That's where McCoy found Spock after the obsessively punctual Vulcan didn't show up in the mess hall. 

He nearly blew his stack when Spock told him what had happened-- _ all _ of it. 

"You  **_WHAT_ ** ?" 

Spock might as well have confessed that he was a trans-Klingon. 

"Were you  _ out _ of your  _Fulkan_ **_mind_**?"

Spock sat at his desk with his fingers steepled in front of his face, pulling out of the thoughts he had about not wanting to leave Jim alone there with Scotty, or any other male other than McCoy, as he retreated from Engineering. 

"Perhaps, Leonard," he answered stiffly.


	19. Dancing To The Score Of Pain And Pleasure

The ache Jim had for McCoy and Spock had clamped down on him with a renewed force. 

He tried putting two and two together, one particular doctor upset about a careless accident, and one Vulcan First Officer purposely terrifying the offending crewman.

He came up with one rather obvious reason for Spock's borderline insubordination: he'd been upset because his boyfriend was scared for his friend.

The ache slithered inside of Jim like some sort of live demon serpent that coiled around his brainstem and bled futile desire into his thought stream.

It's venom painted beautiful delusions of Spock actually being angry because someone harmed _him_ , and twisted the memory into some torturing depiction of a furiously protective Spock defending _him_ as if he considered _him_ something of great value.

Jim willed the siren delusions away, angering the serpent into clawing the inside of his chest and throat with relentless viciousness.

Scotty did his own summation of two plus two and figured out that Jim wasn't eating his breakfast because of what had happened the night before.

While McCoy and Spock were trying to tactfully reason with Jim to eat, Scotty went back to the replicator and got Jim a bowl of hot amaranth porridge with agave, blueberry bits, and coconut milk.

To everyone's relief, Jim was able to easily swallow down spoonfuls of the warm, soupy cereal until it was gone, and he left the table looking a little better than when he sat down.

Uhura, Sulu, and Chekov all quietly offered their verbal praises to Scotty for finding something easier for their captain to get down, while stealthfully shooting glares at Spock and McCoy.

Of course, neither McCoy nor Spock offered any complaint to the looks of disapproval turned on them.

McCoy was a doctor and had a mental storehouse of knowledge on vegetarian dietary needs and sources of protein. Not to mention, he was supposed to be Jim's blasted friend, damnit!

Spock had also had a large list of foods that he had committed to memory for his mother’s sake, formerly having sent many a favorite to her when he was on Earth. 

He berated himself privately, both for being the cause of Jim’s current distress and for not doing what Scotty had done.

The two new lovers looked at each other, reflecting each other's growing guilt, and both silently promising themselves and each other to put their focus on Jim’s well-being.

Jim had prepared himself for an excruciatingly long day, devoid of needed distraction for his mind. 

To his relief, Uhura informed him that he would be required to participate in a formal dance on their next planetary relations assignment. 

In other words, he was going to get to dance on duty.

Scotty was more than delighted at Jim’s request to accompany him, and even more so to rehearse with him. 

If there was one thing besides his engineering work that he could put himself entirely into, it was dancing.

Scotty was occupationally accustomed to using his legs for long, physically demanding periods. 

On a daily basis, he was crouching and going up ladders and stairs almost constantly.

Jim, on the other hand, was often confined to a chair during his workdays. 

Despite his rigorous self-imposed fitness training, his legs were trying to go into double Charliehorses at the end of the day.

Spock and McCoy had tried to make themselves scarce to leave Jim and Scotty alone the rest of the work shift, in the hopes that the dancing practice would help lift Jim’s spirits.

They assumed that their hopes had come to fruition, albeit, a little more than they’d bargained for when they heard what sounded like Jim in the throes of passion on the other side of Spock’s wall.

“YES! YES SCOTTY! THERE!!!” With a final, almost triumphant cry, Jim moaned and groaned and then started making quieter sounds of sated relief.

Inside the Captain’s quarters, Scotty had finally managed to work out the knots in Jim’s aching calf-muscles.

McCoy and Spock merely assumed that what they were hearing had been because of something else.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 12-27-2019, 3:11 p.m. PST - I have been looking for a missing memory stick/flash drive that has the draft for the next chapter of Dreams of Rain. While I was searching for other files for said missing draft document, I found another 'Spock/McCoy get jealous of some new hot guy chasing Kirk' story that I think I might merge into this one as a chapter. In fact, I think it's trying to write itself in my head already. Those @#$%ing little $#!*%s.
> 
> I want to thank those of you who have left Kudos or Comments when you are signed in with your Username. I LOVE being able to read what other AO3 members write or Bookmark because it motivates me to continue writing and helps me with ideas and growth!
> 
> Whether you are reading as a Guest or a signed-in User and have a favorite fanfiction Author or Story that you would like to share with me, I sincerely invite you to Paste the URL for them as your Comment for me.


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